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I always take the time out to read articles by people that have led an inspiring life. Maria Shriver is one of that kind in her field and so when I stumbled on a post she wrote for the graduates of her alma mata, I knew immediately I had to share it. This lessons and keynotes of her piece are abundantly important and I admit it took me a year and half or thereabout after school to figure out on my own the relevance of all she had to say. I sincerely hope that after going through, you would learn to take a moment out sometimes to PAUSE.
Good morning, Annenberg graduates — and congratulations! You’ve made it through one of the most prestigious universities in the world. You are accomplished — and, yes, you are blessed. Blessed to be stepping out into the world with your degrees in journalism, PR, and Communication — right at the moment when it seems like everything in the world is about communication.
We’re communicating like never before — across borders and time zones — on platforms, devices, computers, tablets, phones, apps, games, you name it. Communicating 24/7 — wired and wirelessly — talking, texting, and tweeting — trending and friending — to the other side of the room and the other side of the planet — spitting out the old, in order to consume the new. Every minute you’re awake, you’re reaching out beyond yourself — way out beyond. It feels like the entire universe is an extension of your own nervous system. You communicate instantly, automatically, and effortlessly. For you…communicating is like breathing.
And today, you’re rarin’ to go. Rarin’ to go out into the “real” world — to get a job and transform the world of communication yet again. It’s a race to be next, to be first, to be new. Sorta scary, isn’t it. I get that — because when I close my eyes, it feels like just yesterday that I sat where you are, and I remember exactly how I felt.
My boyfriend had hidden a bottle of champagne under his graduation robe for the celebration afterwards. But me? I was anxious, and I was scared. I had applied for a job in TV news, but I hadn’t heard back. And I remember everybody was asking me, “What are you going to do after graduation? Do you have a job? What’s your job?” — and I felt so bad about myself, because I didn’t have the answer. I graduated in May, and for months I was asked “What are you gonna do? What are you gonna do?” — which got me beating the living daylights out of myself, all the way until I landed a job in October. Back then, I didn’t realize that that question — the “What-are-you-gonna-do?” question — dogs us all our lives: When you get that assignment desk job in local TV, everyone asks you, “When are you going on The Air?” And then it’s “When are you going to the Network?” After you meet that special someone, people ask you, “When are you going to get married?” Then right away, it’s “When are you going to have a kid?” After that: “When are you going to have the next one?”
I remember when I wrote my first book, people would come up to me at book-signings and ask when the next book was coming out. Right in the middle of the Women’s Conferences I produced, people would ask me, “Who are you gonna get to speak next year?”
Even today at my age, people come up to me all the time asking, ‘Maria, What are you doing? What’s your job? Are you going back into television? Are you writing another book? Are you gonna run another women’s conference? What are you doing?’
It’s like what we’re doing at this precise moment doesn’t even exist. Everyone is focused on the next thing. Everyone is racing to the Next Thing. Well, I got caught up in that for a really long time — so much so, that I could never really enjoy what I WAS doing, because I was always worried about what I was going to be doing.
I tell you all this, because I know right now everybody’s asking you those same questions: “What are you gonna do after graduation? Do you have a job? Where will you be working? How much are they paying? Where are you going? Where will you be living? Who are you seeing?” Oh, my God — so many questions! And here you are: sitting there ready to hit the Fast Forward button and find out the answers. I get that. I was just LIKE you: I lived on Fast Forward.
But today, I have one wish for you. Before you go out and press that fast forward button, I’m hoping — I’m praying — that you’ll have the courage to first press the pause button. That’s right: the pause button. I hope if you learn anything from me today, you learn and remember — The Power of the Pause. Pausing allows you to take a beat — to take a breath in your life. As everybody else is rushing around like a lunatic out there, I dare you to do the opposite. I’m asking you to do this, because I believe you have an important opportunity in front of you, graduates of The Annenberg School of Communication. I’m asking you to learn how to pause, because I believe the state of our communication is out of control. And you? I believe you have the incredible opportunity to fix it.
You have the power, each and every one of you, to change the way we as a nation speak to one another. I truly believe you can change our national discourse for the better.
You have the chance to change the way we talk to one another, what we read on the Web and newspapers and magazines, what we see on TV, what we hear on radio. You can help us change the channel.
I’m hoping you young men and women dare to bring change to our community by changing our communication.
Change it from criticism and fault-finding to understanding and compassion. Change it from nay-saying and name-calling to acceptance and appreciation.
Change it from dissembling and dishonesty to openness and explanation.
Change from screaming to speaking.
Show us the way, Annenberg graduates. Take us out to what I’ve been calling “The Open Field”. Go there! Go beyond! I know you can do it — because a communications degree means nothing today unless you know how to go beyond the easy into the unknown — unless you know how to pause, how to listen.
You know — I know quite a bit about the communication business. I’ve done it through my TV news work, my books, my website, in magazines, speeches, blogs, and conferences. And if you thought I was going to come here today to tell you how I’ve done all that, the answer is pretty simple: I worked my butt off! You’ll have to work your butt off, too, but today, I’m saying that while you do that, it’s really important to pause along the way and take a break from communicating outwardly, so you can communicate inwardly, with yourself.
PAUSE — and take the time to find out, what’s important to you. Find out what you love, what’s real and true to you — so it can infuse and inform your work and make it your own.
PAUSE — before you report something you don’t know is absolutely true, something you haven’t corroborated with not just one, but two sources, as I was taught. And make sure that they’re two reliable sources.
PAUSE — before you put a rumor out there as fact. Just because you read it or saw it on TV or the Web — no matter how many times — doesn’t mean its true. Don’t just pass on garbage because you want to be first. There’s no glory in being first with garbage.
PAUSE — before you hit the “send” button and forward a picture that could ruin someone’s life — or write something nasty on someone’s Wall because you think it’s funny or clever. Believe me, it isn’t.
PAUSE — before you make judgments about people’s personal or professional decisions.
PAUSE — before you join in and disparage someone’s sexuality or intellectual ability.
PAUSE — before forwarding the untrue and inflammatory tidbits that have made it so difficult for would-be public servants and their families to step up and lead. Edmund Hillary once said, “It is not the mountain we conquer, but ourselves.”
To be continued…